I went to my 6th chemo treatment a bit worn down-maybe I am fighting the fall colds that are in the air…
My appointment with my beloved (and I do mean that) chemo doctor-Carolyn Kranser went well-with the hitch-she may have to make the hard decision to give me two more treatments-this all is based on my September 30th c-scan. I cried the last of my eyelashes down my cheeks as she shared that possibility with me.
Who wants more chemo? “I do! I do!”-not…However, I do want longevity-so it is a no brainer if my chemo doc is suggesting two more.
God will help me work through all of it. I trust Him completely. I trust Dr. C.
Please pray for Elisha and I (Jamie, too).

I am a bit plagued with waiting for the blood test results from Monday’s treatment.
However, the still quiet voice prompted me to read and take to heart this psalm.
Psalm 65

For the director of music. A psalm of David. A song.

1 Praise awaits [a] you, O God, in Zion;
to you our vows will be fulfilled.
2 O you who hear prayer,
to you all men will come.

3 When we were overwhelmed by sins,
you forgave [b] our transgressions.

4 Blessed are those you choose
and bring near to live in your courts!
We are filled with the good things of your house,
of your holy temple.

5 You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness,
O God our Savior,
the hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas,

6 who formed the mountains by your power,
having armed yourself with strength,

7 who stilled the roaring of the seas,
the roaring of their waves,
and the turmoil of the nations.

8 Those living far away fear your wonders;
where morning dawns and evening fades
you call forth songs of joy.

9 You care for the land and water it;
you enrich it abundantly.
The streams of God are filled with water
to provide the people with grain,
for so you have ordained it. [c]

10 You drench its furrows
and level its ridges;
you soften it with showers
and bless its crops.

11 You crown the year with your bounty,
and your carts overflow with abundance.

12 The grasslands of the desert overflow;
the hills are clothed with gladness.

13 The meadows are covered with flocks
and the valleys are mantled with grain;
they shout for joy and sing.

Sing of Your Goodness Lyrics by Joann Rosario
I am so overwhelmed by who You are
And Your goodness in my life so forever I will sing
I should not be here but You chose to let me live
I am so grateful to You

The melody in my heart brings Your presence close to me
And everyday that I wake reminds me constantly
That in all my days good or bad, throughout life’s bitter sweet
The melody in my heart keeps repeating
And I’ll sing of Your goodness forever

Each and everyday I am tempted not to trust
The song You place in me and the voice that guides my feet
Oh, but I choose to believe Your every word
I’ll stay close and love You through my praise

The melody in my heart brings Your presence close to me
And everyday that I wake reminds me constantly
That in all my days good or bad, throughout life’s bitter sweet
The melody in my heart keeps repeating
And I’ll sing of Your goodness forever, forever, forever, yeah

The melody in my heart brings Your presence close to me
And everyday that I wake reminds me constantly
That in all my days good or bad, throughout life’s bitter sweet
The melody in my heart keeps repeating
And I’ll sing of Your goodness forever
And I’ll sing of Your goodness forever
And I’ll sing of Your goodness forever

Credits:
Donald, Pamkenyon [Songwriter]
Hammond, Fred [Songwriter]
Rosario, Joann Judith [Songwriter]
Walker, Tommie [Songwriter]
BRIDGE BUILDING MUSIC [Publisher]
F. HAMMOND MUSIC [Publisher]
UNIVERSAL MUSIC – Z SONGS [Publisher]

I had a difficult week last week. Gearing up for this treatment, getting Elisha ready for kindergarten & dealing with menopause symptoms-big time has added challenges sometimes indescribable.
Solutions came in many forms this weekend and today. I am grateful for this.
Elisha started school today. His first day of kindergarten. I was so impressed with his independence. He wanted me to drop him off in front of the school. So off he went with his backpack, lunch box and enthusiasm bounding up the stairs to his new classroom. I parked and followed him to meet his new teacher with his nap blanket and pillow in my hand. By the time I arrived, he was waiting patiently in line to receive his name tag and meet his teacher. Amazing. Elisha’s teacher is a well seasoned educator and reminds me of one of my early education teachers, but don’t know who…it’ll come to me.
I am so grateful for his good start.
I have a deep sense that this is going to be a good academic year this year-despite my ovarian cancer diagnosis.
I am feeling well and know that I am healing.
I am very aware of the preciousness of each day lately, and this makes my life much more managable.
Turning over all of my fears, doubts and anxieties is crucial to maintain sanity.
I turn them over to Jesus daily-sometimes minute to minute.
I will post pictures soon. (Elisha’s 1st day photo!)
Two scriptures were impressed on my heart today, and they are connected to cancer, me and wanting to reach out (for the rest of my life) to others in the same or similar situation:

Isaiah 42:3 (New International Version)
3 A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;
James 5:7 (New International Version)
Patience in Suffering
7 Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.

Chemo Treatment # 4 of 6!
This was said to me yesterday as I was exiting from church service from an exhuberant and kind lady at church. “Your eyes are glowing!”
My response felt like the punch line on a bumper sticker that could only make sense to chemo patients. I said, ever so quickly and intinctively, “My eyes are glowing as my eyebrows and eyelashes are going!” Ha! This next treatment will most likely cause the brows to go. However, as small as this issue is in comparison to the BIG picture…Read how faithful God is to my slightest need. I met a woman today at the Yawkey Infusion Center. She has ovarian cancer, too. She finished chemo treatment # 6 in June. She wasn’t wearing a hat or wig, and had a cute short hair do on her covered scalp-just one month after her last treatment-HOPE infused in me.
Then, we began connecting through conversation. She ended up giving me a great tip about eyebrow loss. (Yes, they will go-unless God supernaturally intervines and keeps them connected-This is possible.) However, Cinique has a product: Eyebrow liner that has a brush…it looks very natural. I can invest in during my eyebrow loss phase. It’ll keep the “alien from another planet look” at a minimum. I was so grateful for this tip.
Then as I went through all my process to get to the Lazyboy hook up seat, I was given some information today that seems like a huge wave from that storm that surrounds me as I stand on the rock with my Jesus holding me and shining His light through me. Protecting, Healing, Keeping me safe from the storm. My CT scan of July 27th showed shrinkage in my lymph nodes. I questioned this immediately.
Lymph nodes? I thought they were all clear?
The ones they biopsied from my surgery were. Clear 100%. However, today I discovered that our bodies have many lymph nodes…the ones that showed up on the CT-scan could not be biopsied at surgery time…breathe out. sigh.
Does this mean they are cancerous? No, not necessarily. However, to me, if something in my body is shrinking because of the chemo treatment-perhaps a gang of those gargoyles found their way to some lymph node…
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. Please pray that fear won’t grip me. Please continue to pray that this treatment will target those lymph nodes with a blast that will eradicate the “gargoyle gang related activity” there. No gang activity in my body allowed!
I am so grateful to God for sustaining me during this process. I am learning a lot.
My faith in Him is deepening. I am being transformed by His Light, Love, and Word.
I was able to teach part-time this summer, and completed that commitment on the 31st.
I made some great connections with teachers and students this summer.
August will bring help with Elisha as I go through treatments. Some summer fun! Kindergarten for my little guy: Aug. 24!
Maybe a couple days up to Lake Sunapee in New Hampshire for some fresh air and clean swimming.
I feel well for the most part, and just keep walking forward.

I haven’t written on this blog since my last chemo infusion. Next ones are: Aug. 3/August 20 & the 6th one is: September 10th!

I have spent the morning into afternoon getting chemo, and only about 3 more hours to go!
I am grateful to God that I am turning the corner of this step 2 process of my 5-step health plan. Once I finish chemo, I will be on a 4-step health plan for the rest of my life on earth: 1. prayer 2. exercise (I may start running!)
3. nutrition (continued heart healthy diet) 4. rest (no over extending to the brink of exhaustion).
Jamie and Elisha, my “rubies”, will be picking me up at the end of this long chemo day. Jamie has been helpful to me during my time of need in very tangible ways. Elisha has been a trooper with all my side effects that affect him directly. Sometimes Mommy is just too tired to do what did formerly before my surgery and chemo. My hair loss is still an issue for him, but he is accepting, and being reminded by me that it WILL grow back. That brings him comfort.
I had a very funny moment as I was leaving for MGH this morning at 6:30. The three children were saying their goodbyes to me at the door. Joshua, age 4, Elisha, now 6,and Bertude, age 8, were giving me hugs goodbye, and Joshua, in his very loud exuberant voice, asked me if I was going to MGH hospital to “have my hair done.” He said, Mary-Margaret, are you going to get your hair done today? Elisha piped in something to him about chemo, and I chuckled and said,”Josh?, what hair? I have no hair on my head to get done? He belly laughed at my comment and thought that was pretty funny. The household humor keeps me laughing, and laughing is a type of medicine for my body, soul and heart. My younger sister and brother’s arrival next week for a long weekend visit should prove to be filled with laughter. Both of their sharp wits and tongues never cease to amaze me and tickle my funny bone.
So, the beat goes on….signing off, but connected through thoughts and prayers.

Elisha came back to New England with his older cousin Megan. (She is a nursing student in Ohio!) I am so grateful to all of the help in getting Elisha to and from places. Jamie (big brother) helped us show Megan slices of New England: Massachusetts General Hospital: The Healing Garden, Museum of Science, Charles River, MBTA, Kelly’s Roast Beef, a lobster roll sandwich, Pigeon Cove Harbor & the trek around Cape Ann. Megan took a picture of the banner that Jamie and Elisha made me on the first chemo infusion I experienced back on May 28th. It is located near the entrance of The Healing Garden. (an amazing place overlooking the Charles River with orchids, trees, benches & fountains in such a peaceful atmosphere) For me, I reflect upon my hand made banner with this thought: Jesus Christ is the boss over my cancer. Ultimately it is He that has authority and power to eradicate my cancer cells through His presence in my life, the doctors, & the 5-step health plan I am on.
I am fast approaching my third infusion of the chemo drugs and that means I am half-way there to a completed regime!